To Continue or Not to Continue: An Honest Post
Often, I’m caught between blogging only when I think it may be useful to others and blogging to share my thoughts and vent, just for my own selfish reasons.
The reason you have not seen any exclusively ‘personal’ posts from me so far is that the usefulness requirement wins every time. The usefulness could be recipes, awareness about diabetes or nutrition, or award posts to share links to other blogs. Of course, I may occasionally throw in a line or two about what I have planned or what I’ve been up to but that comes at the end of the post and it’s not more than a couple of paragraphs: a concession I grant myself for letting the usefulness requirement win.
So yes, you guessed it: this post is going to be all blah blah, and no planned usefulness!
If you’re one of my dear regular readers, you’ll know that I’ve taken up fiction writing as my main ‘job’ since the start of this year. While keeping writing as the main activity of the day, I had planned to keep blogging about diabetic friendly recipes here and I set aside 2 hours every night for it. I was being ambitious. I usually shy away from taking on more than I know that I can definitely handle but I thought that I would “lean in” and take on the challenge.
I’ve done reasonably okay managing both tasks. I posted on the blog once a week for three weeks. And I wrote a 32,000-word novella (which is a meandering plot-less thing that I have to put aside for now). The problem? I’m not a fan of ‘reasonably okay’ and to add to that I felt I was not giving the blog my best because I was usually exhausted when I reached the allocated time slot for it. I started thinking about whether it was really useful to others that I continued blogging. And once you start thinking like that it’s easy to slip, slide, and sink into the depressing puddle of worrying whether you should just stop trying to make it work.
I have decided to continue blogging, at least for this year (insert your hurrahs here!). But to make sure that I did better than reasonably okay, I’ve come up with two changes to the way I’ve been working. One: I am allocating a few more hours each week to blogging, and a few of those hours will be in the morning when I’m not too tired and can think better. Two: I am working towards completing a cookbook by the end of the year. This will give me something to strive for, a direction to go in, and a sense of purpose to stop myself from questioning the usefulness of what I’m doing.
So there, that’s what has been decided. It may take a couple of weeks before you see the effects of these changes but it’s going to happen. Meanwhile, I am working on the plot of my new novel. I can think about it in peace now that I’ve convinced myself that I need to continue blogging!